anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
