He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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