The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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