Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My ass is underappreciated
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
