I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
