A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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