We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
