It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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