FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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