It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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