oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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