The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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