Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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