You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
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Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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