Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
