Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
