I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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