batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
