Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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