I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
