My liver just broke up with me...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
