we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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