you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
