Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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