i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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