thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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