Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.