capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...