I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She has the best kind of daddy issues