At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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