quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
