You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
