I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How naked do you want me to be?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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