Small penises have feelings too.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Thank you for not boning my boss.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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