They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
