4 words: hood of his car
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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