My first STD was from a foam party
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
