the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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