We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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