i love accidental penises.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
