And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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