all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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