So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
