If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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