we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
