To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
