from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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