So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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