Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
