I wish I could teleport
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
