I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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