Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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