You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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