And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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