woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize