hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
