you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
