You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We left an ass print on the piano.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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