Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
